Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Frenemies

When co-workers play dirty
By Mary Lorenz

The Bears have the Packers, Alexander Hamilton had Aaron Burr, and Betty had Veronica. From sports to politics to pop culture, rivalries exist everywhere there's the potential for competition, and the workplace is no exception.

Rivalry between colleagues isn't rare.

Oftentimes, it's harmless and could even be a healthy morale booster. Whether you covet the boss's attention or are vying for that promotion, you're all probably trying to stand out among the crowd, a task that requires working that much harder and being that much more productive to get a leg up.

But when a colleague stops playing fair and starts playing dirty, the "competition" can quickly go from exciting to excruciating.

When a co-worker resorts to sabotage and backstabbing in attempts to climb the corporate ladder, what's an office underdog to do? The best bet, according to Stephen Viscusi, author of "On the Job: How to Make it in the Real World of Work," is to face the problem head on. "We call these people 'frenemies"' in the workplace," Viscusi says. "Often, they end up sabotaging themselves; however, those that don't sabotage themselves, need to be confronted directly." Backstabbing co-workers operate under the assumption that no one will challenge them, so they usually back down when someone actually does.

Viscusi provides the following list of "dos" and "don'ts" to follow when confronting your workplace rival:

• Don't be afraid to confront your co-worker directly. "They are really just bullies and assume that most people will simply 'roll over,'" Viscusi says.

• Do confront the person face-to-face rather than try to conduct a discussion via e-mail. E-mails can be used against you or may be misinterpreted.

• Don't make the discussion personal. Keep it short and limited to real workplace issues.

• Do pick your battles wisely.

• Don't assume that frenemies ever change on their own. They usually don't.

If confrontation doesn't work, Elizabeth Freedman, author of "WORK 101: Learning the Ropes of the Workplace without Hanging Yourself," offers another approach, She says, "If you're working with an idea-stealer or someone who takes credit for your hard work, think like a lawyer."

Use the following advice:
1. Gather witnesses.
Make sure other people know what you're working on as often as you can. For example, if you're working on a brochure, make sure you copy everyone who is involved in the project in e-mails, voice-mails and memos. so you have proof that you were the one doing the work.

2. Gather evidence.
Keep a running report of everything you've been working on, so that you have a paper trail of your efforts. This practice is particularly a good idea because "you never know when you'll need HR to intervene if things get particularly ugly."

Finally -- and perhaps most importantly -- "don't even consider stooping to your miserable co-worker's level," Freedman says. While you shouldn't have to accept mistreatment, if you start playing games, spreading gossip or engaging in other unprofessional behavior, you will risk damaging your own reputation. "No awful co-worker is worth that."

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thanks and Stuff

So it was a very merry happy thanksgiving. Just me and mom. Dad's still in Europe, but at least mom's back! Bought a big ass turkey - don't know what the hell we're going to do with that much turkey, but it was nice. Made my yearly green bean casserole. A fun time was had by all.

Mom and I went house hunting today, found some prospects, nothing to get too excited about though.

Sick of being treated like the company bitch at work.

Sick of men lying to me, thinking I'm dumb enough not to know what the hell's going on.

That Burn Notice guy is pretty hot.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Is it bad...

...that after two years I still look up an ex? :-\

I just wonder how he's doing, where he lives, if he's still single, married, has kids, where he's working...

...if he's thinking of me as much as I think about him.

::: reaches for another glass of wine :::

OH!

And I'm sooooo super-duper excited about the new Nip/Tuck season starting!

It's like softcore porn!

Maybe I'm just a perv! lol

Some news

I'm very excited that my dear mother - who has been in Europe with my dad since March - is coming back on Tuesday! I'm beside myself with excitement! I have missed her SOOOO much! And the poor thing starts crying each time we talk, so I know she's been missing me as well. I am an only child and so her and I have a very close relationship.

But now that she's leaving and dad's staying behind, dad's been letting the tears flow. Says he will miss her. Hmph. He's so rude to her sometimes, yet other times he can be the nicest man. And they say women are hard to understand! Ha!

Work's been...interesting. I wonder what would happen if something - God forbid - bad happened to me. Would they THEN realize how much I do around there. They take me for granted and it sucks. It really SUCKS!

A girlfriend I recently reconnected with has sort of dropped me off the radar. She's going through a separation/divorce ordeal and he moved out, so she got roomies (a couple, guy and girl) and they're of course much cooler than I am apparently, so she's forgotten all about me. I can't help but feel a little used. She used to call me out of the blue and just come over, have a drink, sit, talk, etc. We used to go out and she would get drunk and I'd have to drive us home, she's crashed at my house before, we were really close, but now I haven't heard from her in almost two weeks. :(

So I'm overdosing on Reduced Fat Pringles and Diet Cherry Coke! lol